The Hijab Box From Mother
I frowned annoyed at my mother told me to wear a headscarf and veil again. Wow ... again, either already keberapa time Mother told me to wear a hijab and veil if you want to go to school or even go to an event like a birthday party my friend. "It's for your own good!" Replied every time I ask for what we have to wear a headscarf and veil. Even now I do not understand the meaning of 'goodness' in the mother's sentence. I do not give a damn, anyway I just wanted to make Mom happy to see me wear the veil and hijab. That's it, nothing more.
Today I've found a light blue veil in front of my dresser when I had just finished bathing. Above the veil was a piece of paper I found my mother's handwriting, 'This month she could only buy one scarf, but she promised next month I'll buy for you a box of hijabs'. I sighed heavily, there is a sense of guilt that arise all of a sudden when I read my mother's handwriting. I really feel guilty, this time she must think I'm willing to wear the hijab headscarf and each was leaving, You never know if in fact I was not sincere and deeply ashamed to my friends because they always mock me.
I do not mind wearing hijab headscarf and in particular, really! Well, I mean I only have less sincere. How not old I just turned 17 years old I wanted to be like other young people, free to determine my choice. What I want to do, what I want to wear. But ... she was the only family left, I mean my parents and I do not want to upset him. I knew you so love me, I'm the only girl. Both my brother and a man they had gone some where. To be honest I hated them and .... Dad?. He was an irresponsible mother and me, he's gone, I've never even seen his face and I did not want to see her face. I hate them, not because they hurt but they hurt my mother.
Yes .... They hurt my mother, the dearest person in the world. "I want to go, Annie?" Mother asked me who was eating breakfast. I nodded, did not answer. Mother watching me eat, I rather uncomfortable or may be very uncomfortable.
"Why are you seeing Nissa like that?" I asked after I
finish my breakfast. Mom shook her head slowly, sadly there are streaks in my mother's face when he smiled shade earlier. I gasped, feeling uneasy. I shook my head slowly.
"My mother used to go Nissa .... Hi!" My farewell after first kissed the back of Mom's hand. The hands that raised me with great difficulty.
"Waalaikumsalam ...!!
Niss'll go straight home! "Said my mother before I get out of our small yard. Strange, is not usually my mother warned that, at most, he said if home not too late. She knew my work until what time, and I made sure he knew I'd never go anywhere after work. What is this? I feel really uncomfortable. I kept walking towards a stall at one of the traditional market in my village. Yes ... every school holiday like today I deliberately work to help the family economy. I'm sincere, honest! In a small kiosk that I learned many things, especially about pleasing mother of all my friends, like Rahmi. In addition stall holders are very nice to me, he let me work when school holidays only.
I glanced towards my side, I found my pace to match Rahmi. Intermittent breathing, his hand grabbed my right hand. "I've been calling you, Niss!" He said after a bit of breathing can counteract that looks still very labored.
"Sorry I did not hear your call!" I said. Rahmi shook his head, "No why?" Her said. Girls hooded pink my friend Mr. Shalih at the kiosk. He's different with me, even said to be very different. How not? Rahmi wearing a veil and headscarf with her own, while I? Ikhlas was not!. This is for Mom.
A few moments later we had reached the stall Mr. Shaleh, a fairly large kiosk that sells basic necessities. When we arrived, the atmosphere of the store is very crowded, ya know ... it's now Sunday. I was busy and Rahmi made.
Towards the Asr Mr. Shalih kiosk is closed, then we-I and Rahmi, was getting ready to go home, I heard a call that is very familiar in my ears, it sounds Mr. Hastuti very good neighbors to me and Mom.
"Nissa ..!" Called Mrs. Hastuti.
I got out, I found middle-aged mother looked at me with mournful eyes. I guess she was just crying! It must be because of a thug son was, at first I did not think the market thugs are children Mrs. Hastuti but after he came home and rampage a week ago, Heuh!.
"You OK?" Asked me a little worried. "Your mother, Niss!" Greeting Mrs. Hastuti me a little more shaded look back to remember Mother's little sad that there are streaks.
"What about Mom?" I asked, worried.
"Go home now! "She said as she took my hand follow it ran.
***
The incident still haunts my sleep even though it had happened a half years ago. Am I really the rebellious daughter? Or because I'm still not willing to use the hijab and veil? But I was sincere! Even so Ikhlas! Or because the gift is sent Mrs. Hastuti the other day reminded me of my mother again? Yes ... she kept her promise, she had left a box of it to Mrs. Hastuti veil before she left me alone, before it made me really feel alone and guilty because I never make her happy.
I walked to the old cupboard, I found a box of multicolored veil therein. Back drops clear it out of both my eyelids and I certainly can not refuse. I let the droplets my eyes tobe a small river on both my cheeks, tears Maybe with this I hope a bit much to erase my guilt on the mother, the person I love most in this world.
Now I fill my days already with Veil Veil and, of course, without coercion or because the mother requests it once was. Now I know about the meaning of the word 'kindness' mother ever said to me, well .. I still remember the words of my mother at that time. I'm sure she saw me there and now he is happy, seeing his only daughter to fulfill its obligations to become a true Muslimah.
* The End *
Created by:
Fie Liey
