Why do I wear my hijab in school?

Why do I wear my hijab in school?
By : Attia Zaidi
Why I wear hijab (to school, to work, to wherever)

I have been answering this question for the past 14 years. I decided to put on hijab as a permanent part of my attire when I was 14 years old and in grade 9. At the time it didn't do wonders for my self-esteem, but over time is has given me a better understanding of myself. I chose to wear hijab for a number of reasons and my understanding of who I was and who I was trying to be became a public process since the hijab is apparent to everyone.

High school is generally a time when students are searching for themselves. Amidst all the messages they receive through the media, their parents, their friends, they are looking for their niche and trying on different roles to find one that best suits who they are. I was no different. My hijab was more of a self-assertion that I wanted to follow my religion more closely. I was Muslim, because my family was, but a lot of it was lip service and I had a problem with saying I was a follower if I didn't follow. I decided to be more vigilant with my religion and eventually Islam become forefront in the way I identified myself. This one decision shaded over all my major decisions that were to come.

The hijab was major turning point in my life in so many ways. Most importantly, it helped me understand who I was. With the dawning of hijab, however, I became a visible Muslim. I, was then, forced to be more vigilant about my actions because I didn't want other people to judge my religion in a negative light. In university I did abundant research on the different reasons why women wear hijab. I looked into the historical significance, the religious obligations and the controversy around it. I was (and am) a believer in the women's liberation (as vague as that term is) and firmly believed my hijab helped me gain my freedom. I wrote numerous articles and gave talks on how the hijab protects me from being a slave to the fashion industry; how it gives me the freedom to be myself without having to be judged by how I look; how it is nothing new but prevalent in all past religious societies, and the list goes one. I did this time and time again. Then I grew up.

After September 11th, I became very self-conscious about my hijab. I felt like I was being clumped together with all the other Muslims in the world and wasn't been given a fair shot at having my own unique personality. I felt I was being stereotyped, discriminated against, judged and given worse-off treatment simply due to my head.